My beloved
first of all I did not say I was a very good husband. I told that we had
problems and crisis, and that s why you left me but though all of them I did
not abuse you, deceive you and treat you aggressive. Even now after all your
negative response to me, I treat you respectful and lovely. Yes that s right.
I love you. Several nights a week I see you in my dreams. My words about my
love and also my love itself were not fake. I respect you. I dont call you not
to disturb. After your departure, after you left me, for several months we
spoke on internet several times a week. You did not refuse. And then you wanted
to do it only 2 times a week and I accepted. And now it s much less. Do you
think I dont want to call you too? Do you think that s why it is? I accept to
get contact with you very seldom as you want JUST BECAUSE OF MY RESPECT TO YOU.
Everything I can not share with you, I express in my blog. You may check it at http://destructiondiary.blogspot.com/
I have cought your some lies. And because of this in those
cases I called you as liar about those subjects. But if it s so bad why did you
say something very bad to me too? Dont you remember any moment you told me
something rude and offending? You even wrote I am not human on the wall.
About satanism I did not claim you were satanist. I wrote
that you refused and resisted to enter the church and this is a behavior of
satanists. I did not know at that moment your religion was Yehova’s witnesses.
I did not know their rules at that moment. To afraid of churches is known as
done by satanists in public. Most of people dont know it s common also among
Yehova’s witnesses. I learned later when I searched. I wrote that you did
something like satanists. It s completely different phrase from you are a
satanist. Though everything I APPOLOGIZE YOU IF I OFFENDED YOU SO MUCH.
Yes you are right. It was great and very important you left
all your existing life in 2009 to come to me and get marry with me. I certainly
appreciate. But I do it now in order. And I take much bigger risk now to dare to live in your country completely alone unlike you had a supporting and loving husband.
I still want after all bad things we lived. You did sacrificing, you did a
great thing to establish a family in a foreign country for me but you dont want
to save it now. Not me but you give up from it. About my request from you to
live apart from your daughter was a great mistake and I always accept it. But I
requested it one day and has given up from it for many months. I gave up from
that mistake soon and I had begged you to stay with her during weeks.
And above all, after everything you complain, all the events
you counted as your reasons to refuse me in your this letter, we lived
together. For months. We discussed and decided. I came to Russia and we tried
to find a way provides me to stay from that lady kid s products shop owner, to
print out advertisements for my products on sale to fix to doors. We tried for
an accommodation visa for me. I brought all my belongings. You did not refuse my
existence one year ago after all those events. I just want to continue it but
now you deny with much older events as reasons.
My beloved if I live in Turkey I can see my daughter only a few times a year. You
should understand me better than everybody. You faced with such a risk and you
know how it is terrible. You preferred to change all your life, to leave your
husband and to collapse your marriage to avoid of to be separated from one of
your children. I even dont have one more. So, I have to live in Russia. And I
have to find a job to earn in Russia. This offer from Expoforum is probably my
only chance as a job in Russia. There may be alternative ways to live in
Russia. But I want it with you. I search a way to be with you. It s easier to
convince any other lady than you now to live with in Russia. It would give me
an opportunity to see my daughter often enough. In your opinion why do I choose the most
difficult one? You.
