Letters2

My beloved first of all I did not say I was a very good husband. I told that we had problems and crisis, and that s why you left me but though all of them I did not abuse you, deceive you and treat you aggressive. Even now after all your negative response to me, I treat you respectful and lovely. Yes that s right. I love you. Several nights a week I see you in my dreams. My words about my love and also my love itself were not fake. I respect you. I dont call you not to disturb. After your departure, after you left me, for several months we spoke on internet several times a week. You did not refuse. And then you wanted to do it only 2 times a week and I accepted. And now it s much less. Do you think I dont want to call you too? Do you think that s why it is? I accept to get contact with you very seldom as you want JUST BECAUSE OF MY RESPECT TO YOU. Everything I can not share with you, I express in my blog. You may check it at http://destructiondiary.blogspot.com/

 

I have cought your some lies. And because of this in those cases I called you as liar about those subjects. But if it s so bad why did you say something very bad to me too? Dont you remember any moment you told me something rude and offending? You even wrote I am not human on the wall.

 

About satanism I did not claim you were satanist. I wrote that you refused and resisted to enter the church and this is a behavior of satanists. I did not know at that moment your religion was Yehova’s witnesses. I did not know their rules at that moment. To afraid of churches is known as done by satanists in public. Most of people dont know it s common also among Yehova’s witnesses. I learned later when I searched. I wrote that you did something like satanists. It s completely different phrase from you are a satanist. Though everything I APPOLOGIZE YOU IF I OFFENDED YOU SO MUCH.

 

Yes you are right. It was great and very important you left all your existing life in 2009 to come to me and get marry with me. I certainly appreciate. But I do it now in order. And I take much bigger risk now to dare to live in your country completely alone unlike you had a supporting and loving husband. I still want after all bad things we lived. You did sacrificing, you did a great thing to establish a family in a foreign country for me but you dont want to save it now. Not me but you give up from it. About my request from you to live apart from your daughter was a great mistake and I always accept it. But I requested it one day and has given up from it for many months. I gave up from that mistake soon and I had begged you to stay with her during weeks.

 

And above all, after everything you complain, all the events you counted as your reasons to refuse me in your this letter, we lived together. For months. We discussed and decided. I came to Russia and we tried to find a way provides me to stay from that lady kid s products shop owner, to print out advertisements for my products on sale to fix to doors. We tried for an accommodation visa for me. I brought all my belongings. You did not refuse my existence one year ago after all those events. I just want to continue it but now you deny with much older events as reasons.

 

My beloved if I live in Turkey I can see my daughter only a few times a year. You should understand me better than everybody. You faced with such a risk and you know how it is terrible. You preferred to change all your life, to leave your husband and to collapse your marriage to avoid of to be separated from one of your children. I even dont have one more. So, I have to live in Russia. And I have to find a job to earn in Russia. This offer from Expoforum is probably my only chance as a job in Russia. There may be alternative ways to live in Russia. But I want it with you. I search a way to be with you. It s easier to convince any other lady than you now to live with in Russia. It would give me an opportunity to see my daughter often enough. In your opinion why do I choose the most difficult one? You.