It s not new I lost you both. It may be expected me to be used to in time. I should start to forget, at least accept the reality. The suffer should be less and easier. I know why it s not so with me. Because I have had hopes and plans till now. I have had solution options for possible problems stopping me to achieve you. Finally I consumed them all. First time they have been attemped and finished. To think I will live without you makes me feel like I will live the rest of my life in a prisson with life long penalty. A life I never want. In a meaning I broke up with you just now since I lost even the hope. You know it s the last element left in Pandora's box and to realize an empty box leads a panic.
My darling you consider it s not a normal behaviour to persist on you so much. You believe my these desperat love letters prove me to be psychologically ill. You consider any normal person does not write these post. I give you guarranty any loved man feels the same but my only difference is to write my feelings due to my open character, sincerity and frankness. I want to share with you by this way due to my principal of to be honest and open to you and I just dont try to hide from people due to my advanced self confidence.
Everybody has good and bad periods in life. I know how to effort and wait with patient. By my faith and self confidence, I am usually problem resistant and can be afloat strongly. If I can not achive something, I just settle for less and smaller. But first time now, when I loose my hope for the most important one I feel so hopeless, useless and unnecessary. Unusual for my well self confidence sometimes I feel myself very frightened and weak. I tremble sometimes. Even in -30 in last winter in Russia I did not feel so cold.
My darling you consider it s not a normal behaviour to persist on you so much. You believe my these desperat love letters prove me to be psychologically ill. You consider any normal person does not write these post. I give you guarranty any loved man feels the same but my only difference is to write my feelings due to my open character, sincerity and frankness. I want to share with you by this way due to my principal of to be honest and open to you and I just dont try to hide from people due to my advanced self confidence.
Everybody has good and bad periods in life. I know how to effort and wait with patient. By my faith and self confidence, I am usually problem resistant and can be afloat strongly. If I can not achive something, I just settle for less and smaller. But first time now, when I loose my hope for the most important one I feel so hopeless, useless and unnecessary. Unusual for my well self confidence sometimes I feel myself very frightened and weak. I tremble sometimes. Even in -30 in last winter in Russia I did not feel so cold.
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