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I was married with a Russian woman. The person I had loved most in my life. I loved her very much. We have had a daughter in 2009. My wonderful daughter was born. But I had been able to be with her only till her 1,5 age.

I just had problems with my stepdaughter who she was 9 when I got marry with my ex wife. My step daughter has a difficult character as well as me and it started challenges, problems and conflicts soon. She had been without father and with his very few love and attention since her 4 years old. She is a leo as zodiac sign and requires a kingdom to decree and she had always had such conditions as her mom feels responsibility in her bad fate. But I could not accept to be managed by a 9 years old girl. And I was not mature and experienced enough at parenting to manage the circumstance. An endless struggle and competition started and it leaded problems with my wife. I commented her acts as violations of my rights and tried not to give permission. Now I feel regret for some of my acts very much. Moreover I realise that in some cases I was not right and I did injustices to my step daughter as she did minor mistakes which any girl in her age could do. Poor my wife had to pay the price and took the consequences once more by destroying her life and marriage. She is so unlucky as not to have a good life and destiny till now though she deserves.

So my wife left me and turned back to Russia with the kids in 2011. After 3 years of separation we divorced with her in August 2014. And she declared she found a new lover, an Englishman from London and she got marry with him in February 2016. She says she will bring the kids to England including my daughter. Poor my daughter she has two citizenships to Russia and Turkey. She can not live in one of these her own countries but she has to be as a migrant in England instead. And the worst is that she will has spent almost all her life without her father since her 1,5.

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8/2/12

I am more realistic.

My mom finally understood the situation today. Or she just decided to declare she is aware and talked about it first time.

She said I get upset for "impossible". Impossible to recover our marriage and I am sad for nothing. All I have to do is to accept and give up. To think about not past but future. But I can not take advice from a person has never been in love in her life. She says my wife is in comfort on holiday and even does not remember me. She even refuses to speak with me on Skype. She just ignores me. Yes it s probably so but it can not be expected something else from her under these conditions. And also I have enough knowledge to know my mom is not honest about my wife. She did not appraciate my wife even in our best days.

My mom says it my mistake not to be realistic. But I am...... There is a very small chance still. I have to use it. I will find a way to turn back to Russia and live there at least in the same city with my wife and daughter. And I will try to keep my hope she will love me again during our contacts.

Otherwise I will continue to blame myself forever if I give up now withotu using that chance.
zaman:

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