Today is Ramazan bayrami in Moslim world. It s a religious celebration for the end of Ramadan. According to traditions, people congratulate each other and give presents to beloveds. I spoke with my wife on Skype. And learned that she found a new job in Moscow. As a privite teacher of a 9 years old girl. Girl's father is a billioner oligark. My wife saw his bodyguards with assault rifles in their mansion. Tell me please who of you would not worry about your beloved if she will spend her day in a probably mafia godfather's home with AK47 armed guards. Even if he is a very good and kind person, it s dangerous to be there because it means he has dangerous foes if he feels a necessity to be protected so good.
And it s not all the risk for my wife. Because of the prices are very very high to rent a flat in Moscow, she can not do it but she will rent a room of a flat with some strangers. It s quite usual in Moscow but my wife says she will bring it too forward by sharing the room with somebody. She says she will rent a room with one more person to share. Nobody knows how a person will be.
I suggested her to share the room with me in Moscow. She refused. And at least to rent her recent flat when she will leave. It belongs to her father. To find an opportunity at least to see my daughter often by being in the same city. Actually this idea also gives me a hope to be able to repair the relation with my wife by being permitted to keep in contact somehow. She refused my this suggestion too.
It was my bayram present today. And in addition to realize an important and painfull truth. She refuses my existance at the cost of taking such risks. It does not seem to me to trust strangers more than me under the conditions of the fact of I have never abuse, swear her, I have never said or done something bad to her though all our problems. Even I did not respond her when she beated me.
My lovely 2,5 years old daughter will be given to kindergarten daytime and to be with her granny at evenings an nights for weekdays. My wife can be with her only at weekends and even perhaps some weekends. Probably she will not be able to come from Moscow every weekend. So my small snow white will be has lost both parents and will be grown up by granny because of my wife's stubbornness. Actually she has a chance of to be with her parents.
I have waited this contact with my wife for a week. I had kept my optimism with a hope to convince her. I had good news for my wife that I received a new job offer from a Russian company and it means an ability to end my economic problems prevent me to live with my family in Russia.
The worst is that to face with such harsh things, destroys me and then when I am fell down my chance for my wife gets even less and less and it leads some more incidents. Reasons and results trigger each other. But one should be cool, strong and vain to influence a lady.
And it s not all the risk for my wife. Because of the prices are very very high to rent a flat in Moscow, she can not do it but she will rent a room of a flat with some strangers. It s quite usual in Moscow but my wife says she will bring it too forward by sharing the room with somebody. She says she will rent a room with one more person to share. Nobody knows how a person will be.
I suggested her to share the room with me in Moscow. She refused. And at least to rent her recent flat when she will leave. It belongs to her father. To find an opportunity at least to see my daughter often by being in the same city. Actually this idea also gives me a hope to be able to repair the relation with my wife by being permitted to keep in contact somehow. She refused my this suggestion too.
It was my bayram present today. And in addition to realize an important and painfull truth. She refuses my existance at the cost of taking such risks. It does not seem to me to trust strangers more than me under the conditions of the fact of I have never abuse, swear her, I have never said or done something bad to her though all our problems. Even I did not respond her when she beated me.
My lovely 2,5 years old daughter will be given to kindergarten daytime and to be with her granny at evenings an nights for weekdays. My wife can be with her only at weekends and even perhaps some weekends. Probably she will not be able to come from Moscow every weekend. So my small snow white will be has lost both parents and will be grown up by granny because of my wife's stubbornness. Actually she has a chance of to be with her parents.
I have waited this contact with my wife for a week. I had kept my optimism with a hope to convince her. I had good news for my wife that I received a new job offer from a Russian company and it means an ability to end my economic problems prevent me to live with my family in Russia.
The worst is that to face with such harsh things, destroys me and then when I am fell down my chance for my wife gets even less and less and it leads some more incidents. Reasons and results trigger each other. But one should be cool, strong and vain to influence a lady.
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