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I was married with a Russian woman. The person I had loved most in my life. I loved her very much. We have had a daughter in 2009. My wonderful daughter was born. But I had been able to be with her only till her 1,5 age.

I just had problems with my stepdaughter who she was 9 when I got marry with my ex wife. My step daughter has a difficult character as well as me and it started challenges, problems and conflicts soon. She had been without father and with his very few love and attention since her 4 years old. She is a leo as zodiac sign and requires a kingdom to decree and she had always had such conditions as her mom feels responsibility in her bad fate. But I could not accept to be managed by a 9 years old girl. And I was not mature and experienced enough at parenting to manage the circumstance. An endless struggle and competition started and it leaded problems with my wife. I commented her acts as violations of my rights and tried not to give permission. Now I feel regret for some of my acts very much. Moreover I realise that in some cases I was not right and I did injustices to my step daughter as she did minor mistakes which any girl in her age could do. Poor my wife had to pay the price and took the consequences once more by destroying her life and marriage. She is so unlucky as not to have a good life and destiny till now though she deserves.

So my wife left me and turned back to Russia with the kids in 2011. After 3 years of separation we divorced with her in August 2014. And she declared she found a new lover, an Englishman from London and she got marry with him in February 2016. She says she will bring the kids to England including my daughter. Poor my daughter she has two citizenships to Russia and Turkey. She can not live in one of these her own countries but she has to be as a migrant in England instead. And the worst is that she will has spent almost all her life without her father since her 1,5.

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1/27/13

You say you have been impossible for me.

It s like to touch a star.
So difficult, so important
They say impossible, who cares?
I will jump till I die of it
You were my sun lightened all my world
You went too far away look as a star from here
You still continue to guide me from there even now
Nothing was the same before you and nothing will be different
My journey to being better continues by your light
I dont want to loose my pole star to navigate
Though so far away your light is mine
Continues to reach at me and keeps me alive
But by less of your light I am much less
Since you go away I have to jump
To the altitude you are
To catch you and pull closer
Or to be hang up to your sharp corner from my jacket
To stay with you, to live there
Or for the best die if I can not catch on the route to you
I will continue to attempt to jump to you
I respect your bans but nobody can take over my dreams
I will jump and jump and jump
Not to achieve but to spend my life good
The hope will allow me to dream of you
And I will have died best, for an aim of you
zaman:

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