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I was married with a Russian woman. The person I had loved most in my life. I loved her very much. We have had a daughter in 2009. My wonderful daughter was born. But I had been able to be with her only till her 1,5 age.

I just had problems with my stepdaughter who she was 9 when I got marry with my ex wife. My step daughter has a difficult character as well as me and it started challenges, problems and conflicts soon. She had been without father and with his very few love and attention since her 4 years old. She is a leo as zodiac sign and requires a kingdom to decree and she had always had such conditions as her mom feels responsibility in her bad fate. But I could not accept to be managed by a 9 years old girl. And I was not mature and experienced enough at parenting to manage the circumstance. An endless struggle and competition started and it leaded problems with my wife. I commented her acts as violations of my rights and tried not to give permission. Now I feel regret for some of my acts very much. Moreover I realise that in some cases I was not right and I did injustices to my step daughter as she did minor mistakes which any girl in her age could do. Poor my wife had to pay the price and took the consequences once more by destroying her life and marriage. She is so unlucky as not to have a good life and destiny till now though she deserves.

So my wife left me and turned back to Russia with the kids in 2011. After 3 years of separation we divorced with her in August 2014. And she declared she found a new lover, an Englishman from London and she got marry with him in February 2016. She says she will bring the kids to England including my daughter. Poor my daughter she has two citizenships to Russia and Turkey. She can not live in one of these her own countries but she has to be as a migrant in England instead. And the worst is that she will has spent almost all her life without her father since her 1,5.

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5/8/14

Advice of a friend.

A friend who knows all my story sent me an interesting story. I have told her everyting I lived, all bad things about my wife and daughter. It seems to me she just wanted to give me a hidden message, advice not to try to move forward and effort to access her no more for my wife but set her free and leave to peace if I really love her.

Her English is not good. I copy her exact letter without any editing. Excuse for some possible mistakes.

parable about a wind and a flower.

 The wind met a fine Flower and fell in love with him. The wind gently caressed the Flower, and the Flower answered it with big love which was expressed in color and aroma.
But it seemed to the Wind a little, and it solved: "If I give to the Flower all the power and force, it will begin to give me much more". And the Wind began to blow on the Flower with a huge power of the love. But the Flower didn't take out rough passion and was broken.
The wind tried to lift it and to make live, but couldn't. Then it ceased and began to breathe on the Flower gentle breath of love as right at the beginning, but the Flower died in the eyes.
The Wind cried then:
- I gave you all power of the love, and you broke! It is visible, there was no power of love in you to me, so, you didn't love me!
But the Flower answered nothing. He died.
The one who loves, has to remember, what not by force and passion measure Lyubov, but tenderness and a reverent attitude. Better ten times to restrain, than once to break.

Оксана Александрова.

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